Sunday, January 07, 2007
aye!! end of orientation and i've seriously no voice x) like it this way love it like that. all i can afford to do now to be heard iz a loud whisper. yays dude!!! sexy iz my voice now (: erm.. whatever. i'm suppose to be happy that my voice iz gone la!! but no, i'm not exactly that happy. i dun like not being able to shout and help cheer for blazon, dun like to be not able to scream and lead the og on.. seeing them juz sit there, i cant do anything to help!!! i cant even talk properly. so whatever. sorry guys, couldn't help you guys much today.
so yupp!! today iz orientation day4.. actually not really, it's more of orientation NIGHT 1 :D well, as o night suggest, it's night time. so met the og up in the day, had a yumyum mixed fruit tart for lunch at PP den head back to school. played captain's ball with the OG (: i was the one catching the ball!!! :D den after that slack away the rest of the day. at bout 430, gathered back.
start of o night. (: watched performance after performance, paegent after paegent. well, what can i say? honestly, blazon's performance wasn't very good, neither was it very attention catching.. so i'm not surprised doogashaka and nyrah won this.. as for paegent, geraldine wins hands down. she was the only one that caught my eye even before the finalists went up on stage, but honestly.. angelia would stand some chances too!! but the thing i dun quite get iz why ryan? hmmm.. well beatboxing. WOW. blazon's thai guy dance was WOWWOW too wad. bias. nvm! nyrah won in the end (: well deserved win nyrah. congrats congrats!! but as i was saying and always will say, winning iz juz a bonus, most importantly iz for everyone to have fun. mun got that point and it sure took him to greater heights (: yays! *cheers*
okok. well yupp! note to og1!! (: YOU GUYS HAVE BEEN GREAT!!! fun-loving and all.. even though we didn't win and even though we weren't as bonded as the other ogs, i guess i wouldn't have asked for any much more than to juz have fun with you guys. jeremy for being the enthu and the one that rised up to lead the group, james that i had fun screaming into, dave that dropped that happening message, and everyone else in the og. rock on!! (: gonna be seeing you guys around here and there. gonna be great and i sure had fun. take care!
on a heavier note. i'm having a weird headache. comes once in a while and whenever i cough my brain juz tightens like crap. hurts. throat feels normal. but voice iz lost.
i guess it's time to wake up. wake up from this dream of mine. i should have woken up long ago, but i chose to stay in this dream and not wake up. but now it's time.. so someone please help me. how can i wake up and feel nothing at all? slap me please. slap me hard. i deserve it and i need it. kill my heart kill my head, whatever it does to take it all away. you dun have to be nice to me really. i wish we could juz revert back to before. it's not that things have changed to now, it's juz that things have added to make now now. okay, you really dun have to try to be nice to me. the nicer you are to me, the more i feel like hating you. but i cant do that. so whatever to myself. bigL!!!!
i suddenly juz feel like getting married and being happily married. bride of my life.
chuan. helping others = helping myself i suppose. i guess i juz cant bear that consequence of people seeing me in a different light after i open up. and i dun like it when people start to take pity on me like i'm some pathetic little weakling. yes i'm pathetic, but NO. i'm not a weakling. and i hope i never will be.
*throbs @01:34 <3
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